I read this scripture the other day and it has stuck with me, probably for a couple of reasons. One which many have a hard time believing and that is that I used to not want to speak in front of groups of people, heck there was a time I didn't like speaking one on one much either unless I knew you very well. There was a time when I I would stutter and stammer a bit when I talked. There were times I was made fun of for how I talked even as a kid moving to Connecticut and having a southern accent I was told I talked funny. This and other things caused me to be a quiet observer only speaking when I had or needed to. I wasn't and still am always good conversationally. But Abba had a different plan for me. It's hard to make disciples if you aren't willing to open your, you can't share the gospel or speak the things that Abba tells you into peoples lives if you can't or won't trust Him to give you what you need to say. If it's not from Him its generally pointless anyway. The you are afraid to sound stupid reason usually comes from one of two things. One is you were probably made fun of at some point and that stole your voice, so let's pray for you so you can get some healing and work through forgiveness. Or two you are more in tune with your pride and would rather be rebellious than take the chance of being exposed as not being spiritual enough.
The other reason I think this stuck with me is because one of the things that my wife and I do as part of our ministry is help coach people in how to pray in ministry settings. Generally in small groups where there is an environment of safety. The biggest reasons people give us for not praying are "I don't know what to say", "I'm afraid that I'll sound stupid" and "I don't want to say the wrong thing". So, you don't know what to say, that's perfect. Why? Because He will give the words you need to speak and you are out of it other than being a willing mouthpiece. The I don't want say the wrong thing, is probably the most easy to work with. Why? Because for me that runs through my mind everytime I open my mouth, especially in times of ministry. Many times it means I am kinda willing to pray but it scares me a little and I have seen other people say things that were hurtful or judgmental in the past and I don't want to be that person. My answer to that is trust that Abba is talking to you and if all other words fail you can never go wrong if you speak love and encouragement. And ma y times in just opening your mouth and trusting Him the words come and the people are blessed.
I guess what it comes down to is I don't want to be like Moses. I don't want Abba to use someone else speak the words He has given to bless others with. I want to walk in a place where I can fully trust that if He prompts me to speak that I will do so willingly, without argument, without fear and with love and grace. Because that is what He has created us to do, to bless others in His name. And like Moses, I want to set the captives free.
Exodus 4:10-12 "But Moses pleaded with the LORD, “OLord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” Then the LORD asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”
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